Callum's Blog

Sorry for the bad grammar, she's a nutbar(with chocolate she says!) I didn't write any of this and haven't edited it. It might take you a long time to read cos it makes no sense and there's hardly any full stops or commas! Bear in mind that Cathy is 18 and studying A-level English. Hmmm....




One day Callum was in his field with his horses, picking apples for his significantly normal horses, when he overheard one of his horses say how he particularly liked the colour green, and if he could be anything, he'd like to be a newt cause they belong to the family of greeniness!

A continuation to the story of the green horse. Now where was I - yes something about newts! Yes I remember now. The horse saw a witch one day walking down the lane and she was carrying green merchandise for her cauldron potion mix, mainly frogs, grass hoppers, lizards, green flies (funnily enough) and of course the lovely newts. And I say to myself, said the horse - "That's a lovely colour of things that strangely clothed lady has". I thought to myself so the horse did - "She's not the horse whisperer, where is the boy with the picnic basket of apples who whispers through the air?"

The next part of the story to the green horse. That strangely witch-like featured lady traveled up the lane on her hippopotamus (of pink and purple stripes) to ye old barn by the farmers apple tree - hence the little boy, yes that Callum fella with the basket of apples. Thus the little boy proceeded to trace the oul witch with an owl on her to the farmyard. He mesmerisley glanced for a long period of time at the witch stirring her cauldron consumed by green smoke! She could sense the sickly scent of the little boy and swooped down upon him like an oul owl after its prey. She drew him forth with her hypnotic eyes and levitated him above her "cauldron of doom!" She dropped him like a sewer rat in to the depths of the fluids below, where the green smoke enveloped him in its ethereal clutches, changing him irrevocably from the little apple boy he once was.

At the same moment in time a bolt of lightning shot down from the sky and knocked over the precious apple tree. The little apple tree/wizard powerstruck boy glided across to the tree like a genie in a bottle, and hurt by the death of his tree began, to dig. Six feet under he uncovered a middle length wand, which rushed to his hand. He stood there in the hole and a mighty voice came over him, "I am the all powerful mighty wizard", and suddenly I see, wait a minute that's a song! Retracking himself he hears the yelp of the horse he once conversed with a voice saying "Remember who you are my son the one true king - REMEMBER." Hold on just caught up in a lion moment, did you feel that breeze. He said, "Remember, no yes you are the little apple boy." Immediately he came back to himself and ran down the lane, standing opposite the horse and he said, "Do you still want what you have always wanted, to be the colour of the apple tree, not red cause you were never red to begin with but green?" The horse nodded, "wait a minute", he said, cause in my land he can speak! Then the bot whipped out his wand and chanted, "HUMINA SCHUMINA, MAKE MY FRIEND GREEN OR I'LL DISECT YOU BEGINNING WITH THE SPLEEN, HUMINA SCHUMINA!" And there it was. A rainbow of colours drenched the horse, and when it was wrenched away, a green river enclosed his body. They shook hand-to-hoof and the little boy jumped on his masculine stallion and they followed the green brick road to Greenia, through the green teak wardrobe of Peace.

If any publishers are reading this, Cathy would love to hear from you.